So Many Questions
by McAWrites
Summary: Rachel hates not having all of the answers. Especially to questions such as, what happened to the high school, why is Quinn dressed like that, and what is that huge snake doing there?


**A/N: I found a prompt and this happened. I don't know.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

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The doorbell rang.

'Who on earth would be visiting at this hour?' Rachel wondered drowsily as she pulled on her fluffy blue robe and reached for her matching slippers, her eye-mask still on her forehead. The doorbell rang three times in quick succession, whoever it was, they were very impatient.

"I'm coming!" Rachel shrieked from the stairwell. The doorbell continued to ring and Rachel continued to grumble rather colorfully under her breath as she opened the locks.

Finally she threw the door open and glared at her visitor.

"I need your help," Quinn Fabray declared using her patented HBIC voice as she thrust a wooden sword into Rachel's startled hands. "The fate of the Glee Club depends on it."

"What-?"

Rachel was cut off as Quinn grabbed her hand and leapt into the air. The girls were flying toward McKinley High, and she had so many questions. Mostly though, she wanted to know why Quinn was wearing a fluffy pink bunny costume.

When the girls arrived on the grounds where WMHS _should_ have stood, Rachel was flabbergasted to find herself standing in a cabbage patch.

"Where-?"

"Come on!" Quinn ordered, pulling the other girl along by the arm. The girls ran for several yards before a huge green anaconda blocked their path.

"You're late Q," The snake hissed, its voice sounding remarkably similar to that of one Sue Sylvester. Out of habit Rachel had fallen in behind Quinn hoping to go unnoticed. "Don't think I don't see you back there Barbara."

"Why-?"

"Do you ladies have your weapons?" the snake demanded, flicking its forked tongue at them. Both girls displayed their wooden swords. "Excellent. You're going to need those if you expect to save your silly little Glee Club from Meerkat and his Fiendish Flock of Feathered Finches."

"Who-?"

Suddenly Sebastian Smythe stood in front of them. He was twelve feet tall and dressed as a meerkat, complete with face paint.

"You'll never get away with this, Meerkat!" Quinn bellowed as she gestured threateningly with her sword.

Meerkat laughed the most evil of laughs before he spoke.

"Oh my dear pink bunny," he chortled, "I already have. Your naïve friends fell for my trap easier than I could have even imagined. Now I have your cabbage patch as well!"

Looking around the girls could now see little yellow birds on the ground throughout the field nibbling on the precious cabbages.

"Find the Glee Club," Quinn whispered to Rachel as Meerkat continued to stand in front of them and reveal the entirety of his evil scheme.

"How-?"

"Just go!" the blonde girl hissed. "Now while he's distracted."

Rachel didn't need to be told a third time. She slipped stealthily beneath the overgrown bushes and began to crawl on her hands and knees in the general direction of what she believed to be the center of the field. She picked up her pace when she heard something squealing. Finally pinpointing the source, she broke into a run crashing and smashing her way through the cabbage until she reached a small iron cage containing fifteen squealing rabbits. Looking closer, she noted that one was wearing a bowtie and another seemed to be particularly fabulous.

When she picked up the cage she was surprised by how light it felt. She turned to leave and felt a small pinprick near her ankle. She looked down and saw a tiny yellow bird lying on the ground looking dazed.

"Where-?"

As she spoke dozens of the little birds came pelting at her like hail. She ran, rabbit cage in hand. She could see the edge of the cabbage patch when Meerkat appeared blocking her path.

Before she could react in any way the giant anaconda slithered out from a hole in the ground and captured him in its mouth. She could still hear his belligerent ranting as he was swallowed by the serpent. The snake burped.

"That was for Q," it hissed as it rolled lazily onto its back to enjoy a nice food coma.

"You need to wake up now Rachel," the fabulous rabbit said from the cage in her hand.

"Huh?"

"Rachel," the voice repeated as the world around her went dark. She panicked momentarily before the light returned and she sat up and opened her eyes, squinting against the light from the window. "Oh good, you're up. Come on! Don't tell me you forgot we were spending today with the girls!"

Rachel groaned and slammed herself face down onto her bed. Kurt and Quinn climbed on to the bed on either side of her thinking that she was crying into her pillow.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Quinn asked, gently rubbing circles on her friend's back. Rachel looked up, her face red from laughing.

"Oh you guys," she giggled, "I have got to tell you about this dream I just had."

END

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 **A/N: I'm not sorry. Review if you've got the time.**


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